It’s an odd feeling.
I am happy to stand on stage and sing, dance, tell a joke or deliver a script. I believe in my ability to make people laugh or cry. To jolt them out of their seats. To win them over. To play a bad fairy or Prince Charming. To be the leading lady or the stupid side-kick.
But the thought of standing in the pulpit, bringing God’s word to friends and strangers, fills me with doubt and alarm. Who am I to dare?
So I am starting a process of discernment. Is God calling me to be a lay reader in the Church of England? I have a suspicion that he is – but only that. A suspicion. It would make it so much easier if he gave me a loud, clear, message. But no – just the prods of friends and a nagging thought.
I have spent time this week with my Vicar, going through the first stage of discernment and he is quite clear about it.
“God made gazelles to run and delights in them running. God has given you gifts Janet and wants you to use them for him.” Hmm.
What I am sure about is this:
- the process of discernment will in itself be a helpful process
- the process will give a clear answer
- I’m looking forward to the journey
Your prayers along that journey would be very helpful. Prayers for wisdom, humility and courage.